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Grandchildren are Great
Anyone that becomes a grandparent knows that you get a second chance to do the right thing and have fun with your offspring when you have grandchildren. Here are some of my ideas about this based on having three married daughters and seven grandchildren, from seven years old to 22. All of them look forward to spending time with grandma and that pleases me a lot. And, my kids really like it when their children visit me. Raising children is very hard and it lasts a long time. The responsibility of giving guidance and trying to raise responsible, moral children is stressful and difficult. One reward is when your children grow up and, if you are lucky, get married and have children. When you become a grandparent you are able to interact with the grandchildren in a new and wonderful way. You get to have most of the fun but not too much of the responsibility. But, there are important guidelines to follow so that your relationship grows and becomes the special connection you want to have with your grandchildren and with their parents. I have learned that it is a good idea to check with the parents first, before buying presents for a grandchild. Also, it is important to not smother a grandchild with too many presents and set up a situation where the child is expecting presents whenever you see them. Do not do anything that goes against the wishes and values of the parents. For example, if your children take on a different religion from that in which they were raised, don’t feel free to take them to the religious institution of your choice unless the parents approve and agree. Don’t feel rejected and left out if the parents don’t include you in some of the children’s activities that you would like to participate in. Perhaps you can find another way to interact with your grandchildren by offering to baby sit or take them on a special outing. I like to take my grandchildren to the museums in the city and it is something they enjoy doing with me. They also love to be taken out to a restaurant for a meal—especially to Chinatown. Try and refrain from giving the parents advice on child rearing unless asked for it. Of course, in the unlikely event that you know the parent is endangering the child, you may have to intervene. That issue is a totally different subject that requires professional help. Don’t alter the children’s hair styles without asking permission from the parents. I once cut bangs on my granddaughter because her hair was in her face and her mother was very upset about it. I thought, it’s only hair, but from the parent’s point of view, I had overstepped my bounds. This was an important lesson for me. Being a grandparent is special. I am grateful for the gift of this experience. I’ll have to quit this and leave now because I have to go and pick up my granddaughter from 1st grade for her weekly afternoon visit. |
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May, 2012
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